The Start Of the End
by MeMe00190
Summary: Just a little story how Jerry felt during his last moments, as his life flashed before his eyes. Enjoy :)


**Thanks for reading, this will just be a little one shot about rookie blue. Mainly focusing on Jerry's last episode, I miss him too much. So comment what you think because I can't read your minds. **

It felt like a warm needle or a thorn digging into my skin, no pain I have ever felt compared to this. My mind drew a blank, I couldn't do anything, just go wherever my body fell. We weren't even together any more, two object that couldn't work together, about to end. I heard everything , the noise Gail made sent chills down my already painless body. Her whimper, through that one sound I could tell she was terrified, I failed her.

I placed my cell phone in his pocket, my last detective type moment. Wish it didn't end, so sadly though. I was kinda picturing myself sitting at a desk, grey hair and sore with joint pain from old age closing my last case folder.

I couldn't move, not because of pain but because of numbness. I couldn't even tell I had a body, I felt trapped in my mind. A thousand things going through my brain, none of the images made sense. I saw Tracey smiling, the same smile I saw earlier this morning, the smile that could make or break my day. I would never see her precious smile again.

It felt like an eternity while laying there, I saw more images, one after another. These images were little videos of my life. Blurry images that moved in harmony, almost made me happy considering the situation. A picture came into focus, I remember this moment, high school graduation. The gowns, the hats, it all felt so real.

There he was, Sam sitting on his couch in his apartment drinking a beer grinning like a fool. On his coffee table was a couple poker chips, and the money he won, my money. I remember this day like it was yesterday. It was the day after we all got accepted at the division, the first poker night, and I'm reliving it again. Everything that happened that night, I saw through my own eyes. I saw every moment, that I can ever remember, the good and the bad.

I forgot where I was, who or what was going on. I focused on this image, watching it like a television show, except it was my life and I was the main actor.

A white border of empty space tore through this image like it was caving in, crumbling no matter how hard I focused on it. Slipping away from my grips for the last time, the last poker game I will ever remember. Another great day flashed unto my surroundings. It took me a minute to recognize what was happening, but this was one of the biggest dreams I've ever accomplished , becoming detective. Frank handing me the badge, I felt like a little kid receiving a candy bar. My heart was racing, but the image changed, I wanted to go back to this moment.

There she was her beauty, flawless complexion. From the first moment I saw her as a rookie I knew I would need her. The first parade, she sat looking nervous like all the other newbie's, trying to prove herself. She didn't have to impress me, she did that instantly. No words can describe how I felt towards her, catching myself staring at her while working in my office, purposely trying to start a conversation with her. She was the best thing that ever happened to me, she really understood deep down. Just by smiling she could make a bad day at work and turn it into a joy. All these foggy memories that went by, like a movie on fast forward.

_ Then it suddenly stopped, the last thing I ever did worth anything. The letter that I wrote for the wedding, I remember every word. The letter was the last thing I remember seeing clearly until things started getting blurry and non visible.I read the letter in my head, hung onto those words with my life trying to keep going, just trying to finish it. _

_"I am the luckiest man alive. I don't just have good friends, I have great friends. Noelle, thanks for helping me make the playlist for this little shindig. Gotta be honest though, when you weren't looking I did sneak the Macarena back on there. Ollie, you know you're my brother. I can only hope that I'm half the husband you are and when the time comes, half the dad. Sammy, the best man. No truer words were ever spoken. I trust you with my life because no matter what happens I know you'll always have my back. I love you man. And to my beautiful wife, Traci: you aren't just part of my life. You are my life. You have taken this simple man and made him a king. Until the day I die you will always hold the key to my heart."_

_I wanted to go back to all those memories, change the mistakes I made. I wanted to see what was past this moment, I wanted to know what my future was. This isn't what I wanted. I needed to see my other dreams come true. The dreams that won't become any more than images trapped in my mind._

_ I focused on what could have been, what the next couple of years could have brought on. A picture appeared, its all I could see. There was a two kids, one girl maybe five years old and another boy about ten. I looked closer and realized, the older boy was Leo. He changed but it was him, the other girl looked like the other women in the picture. It was Tracey, she was there hugging both kids, smiling like she was happy. I was there too, in the background. The girl, she had my eyes and Tracey's smile, the smile that could light up my whole world and she had it. It had to be, she had to be my daughter. This was my future, in one picture. A sigh of relief went over my body, I knew what could have been. _

_I felt a tear roll down my cheek, the cheek of the lifeless body I was inside. Darkness fell over me, I knew what was happening, before long I couldn't feel anything anymore. There was no point trying to hold on tight, I had nothing to live for anymore. Everything I ever wanted came true, I was happy. _

_**Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoyed, comment and subscribe! Have a nice day **___


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